applikashun time

yup brudderz an sistahz ...

yesterday wuz applikashun time fer me ...

an dis mornin mi brudderz, matsui an joba got dere'z.

I don't know how I cood get fleaz becuz I amma indoor cat now ...

but stuff happenz.

mi mom got sumthin called "Vet's + Best Natural Health Care Flea + Tick Home Spray Peppermint oil & clove extract" an everything smellz grate.

...

wen mi brudder mickey wuz heer da fleaz luved him.

I gess dey were wating all yeer to vizit him wen da wether wuz rite.

...

in udder nooz, mi dad went to a place called a "sleep clinic" las nite to figyer out a way to fix hiz stoopid snorin.

frendz ... sumtimez he wakez ME up!

I stayed close to mi mom all nite to keep her safe frum introoderz.

...

werd hazzit dat we ar in da middle uvva beet wave.

I am cool, tho, becuz az I sed ...

I amma indoor cat now.

da end.

pee ess:  u mite see dat I am on da table in da pikshur.  mi mom cleenz it up wen I am remooved. do not worry AB.

figyerin out da pointz ... fer a cat

mi auntie bee iz alwayz talkin about caloriez an loozin wate an stuff ...
so I decided to do sum research on caloriez an pointz.
AB made enchiladaz las nite. I had a halffa can uv Friskies Classic Seafood Entree pâté. (more delishus dan enchiladaz I think.)
I found da followin:

pâté classic seafood entree = 31 caloriez per oz.
each can= 5.5 oz.
a halffa can=2.8 (rounded up) oz.
31 caloriez x 2.8=78.8 caloriez eech meel (I hav 2 uv dem a day)

now ... heer iz da pointz stuff:

azza baseline fer a male ... allow 8 pointz
account fer age (I figyer I'm sumware around 57 ... YIKEZ!) ... add 1
level uv activity iz sumwut low deez dayz ... add 2
height (5 foot 1 an shorter ... dat'z me) ... 0
10% uv mi body wate ... add 1

dat'z 12 pointz brudderz an sistahz!

so I thought uvva food to look up:
PORK SAUSAGE

a pork sausage cooked iz 79 caloriez an 7 pointz.

a halffa can uv Friskies classic seafood entree pâté iz:

78.8 caloriez an 7 pointz!
hav dat twice a day ...

14 pointz!

I'm only 2 pointz over!

LIFE IZ GRATE!

AB ... Jus eat a halffa can uv Friskies twice a day an you will never hafta worry about caloriez again!

I am jus sayin.
(thank u fer reedin dis all da way to da end!)

it will be "take yer cat (hair) to skool day" wen it coolz down

i wuz so eksited wen da bottom uv da dresser drawer broke dis mornin.

mi mom pulled it out to fix it an I jumped rite in da dresser fer sum fun.

mi mom wuz happy to see how much fun I wuz havin until she realized dat da black cashmere swetterz dat she had cleened an put away were da very swetterz I wuz lyin on!

she politely asked me to leev ... wich I did.

I think it will be grate wen da wether getz cool, mi mom warez a black cashmere swetter, an "voila!" a reminder or two (thousand) uv yerz trooly iz rite dere wid her.

I am alwayz thinkin uv mi mom.

...

In udder nooz:  dere izza dead bird on mi lawn.

can u say "bobble head?"

dis iz mi "2013 limited-edition collectible Derek Jeter bobblehead"

mi brudder Mike got it fer me at Yankee stadium.

I luv it.

hiz head bobblez up an down.

it iz very entertainin!

i think it'z mi second favorit thing in mi house!

thank u fer givin it to me, brudder, an not to yer d-o-g ... Reggie Jackson.

...

speekin uv da d-o-g, he vizited da house today.

mi mom wuz so eksited becuz she thinks he iz so cute.

me? i hid in da basement until he left da buildin!

an dat'z da truth.

...

do u think da statz fer mi blog are reel?

if dey ar ... I havva reeder frum Russia!

if yer da reeder frum Russia will u leev a comment?

dat wood be eksitin fer me.

maybe 'kaika iz frum Russia.

Hmm.  

mi favorit thing ... in da werld

dis iz wut I see every day.  

da food lady created it fer me an mi mom sum time back.

i luv it more dan anything I hav.

az u can see, it sez "life iz grate" an "laffin an laffin"

a pikshur uv da grate Derek Jeter iz on da side an dere izza message frum da food lady, herself, in her own handritin.

fabyoolus, yes?

...

after all da talk about da lizardz, i lerned da followin:

#1-chicken probably tastez like lizard

an #2-'kaika'z mom plantz lizard talez in her garden

see, brudderz an sistahz ... u lern sumthin new every day.

...

speekin uv Derek Jeter, he haz been on da dee ell since las yeer.

it haz been sad widowt him.

but tra la tra la ... he came back to play yesturday.

i am sad to say, however, dat he pulled hiz quad an he'z not playin again dis week ... an maybe he will be back on da dee ell again nex friday.

duhr.

I am jus sayin'.

tra la tra la

well brudderz an sistahz,

in just a short time mi mom will be home frum her vizit to da funshine state.

before she left, tho, she sent me mi yeerly gift ...

a pikshur uvva lizard.

I luv dis one becuz he haz hiz red puffy thing out!

very hansum.

...

fer yer infermashun, mi gram iz grate.

she had fun wid mi mom.

dey ate lottsa food an laffed at jokez.

life iz grate.

...

soon I will be wid mi mom an we will be catchin up on GoT.

I can't wate!

palm treez on lon guyland

hoo sez u havta go to da funshine state to see palm treez?

I havva palm tree rite in mi livin room ...

an, wen I am able to sneek into da livin room throo a open door,

I can sit under da palm tree an pretend I am onna florida beech!

an, if da liting iz rite, I can look like I havva tan in da pikshur!

life iz grate brudderz an sistahz!

...

mi mom iz havin sum fun wid mi gram.

it appeerz dat dey eet owt a lot an den dey go home an watch lottsa game showz!

den mi mom spendz time lockin doorz an turnin on an off litez an makin sure mi gram iz safe.

...

I wuz wunderin abowt harvard an if dey teech spellin dere.

I think ... dey don't. 

da end.

savin up da skritchez

before she left, mi mom gave me alotta skritchez.

i have sum left ... an i hope dey last.

i am jus sayin.

...

it'z amyoozin to me to heer sumone reed mi blog owt lowd fer da ferst time. i wuz laffin wen dis very smart guy named "cuzzin david" started reedin.

he wuz laffin ... but it wuz like laffin atta foreign langwidge.

interestin.

i hope hiz reedin improovez.

...

i wanna thank da wordpress followerz fer findin me heer in blogger.

da commentz ar a regyoolar size now.

i put mi magnifyin glass away ... an u can, too.

da end.

happy birfday to mi gram

mi mom iz wid mi gram in da funshine state.

I tride to see her in da plane.

she iz helpin mi gram selubrate her 89th birfday.

dattza lotta yeerz.

I am jus sayin.

...

in udder nooz ...

I am heer wid mi dad.

he wuz sayin to mi mom befor she left:

"I think I will leave cans of food up here so I don't have to go downstairs at 5:30 to feed Jeter in the morning."

brudderz an sistahz, I diden't havta look at mi mom'z face to know wut she wuz thinkin.

one werd ...

DUHR!

da end.

happy independence day

hello brudderz an sistahz.

happy 4th uv july.

I googled dis pikshur uvva american flag fer u to show mi patriotizm.

on dis day I think uv all da patriotz dat fot to keep us free.  I espeshully think uv mi grate frend sarge charlie.  he hadda american flag shirt or two dat he enjoyed warin.

if i wore a hat I wood take it off an saloot him!

...

speekin uv sarge ... mi mom iz gointa vizit da funshine state fer a few dayz.

i will do da best I can wid dis iPad .... but I am gointa be busy tryin to keep mi dad occyoopied.  he will be missin mi mom.  I will be too!

...

in udder nooz, mi mom an I are reelly catchin up on GoT.  I know hoo most uv da characterz ar now.  I luv it.  It'z so ... violent! an everyone iz so ... crazy!

da end.

wut'z black an wite an red all over?

souwnd'z like a joke, rite brudderz an sistah'z?

well ... It'z my brudder matsui an ... Joba.

deez two stay owtside most uv da time.  matsui sometimez comez inside to finish mi brekfast den spendz da day in da basement. joba rarely comez in da howse. dat'zza good thing.

speekin uv joba, he haz dis deep meow dat he yoozez all da time.  it annoyz me.  matsui haz dis girlie meow. u wood think he'zza big baby, but he izza hunter an he'z not afrade uv anything!

...

mi grate frend 'Kaika rememberz da day mi squillion, laffin, had da accident dat ferever changed hiz face.  i havva piksher uv dat day:

update onna old frend

u may or mayen't know dat i havva squillion.  hiz name iz laffin an he haz been wid me fer sum time.

a wile back, mi squillion hadda accident uv sortz an he lost part uv hiz face.  thankz to mi grate frend Karen Nichols, he now warez a hello kitty bandage wich, by da way, makez him look very distingwished.

laffin spendz hiz dayz sittin by da kitchen sink an overseez da washin uv da dishez.

az u can see, he still lookz up to me.

...

yer commentz regardin dat d-o-g, Reggie Jackson, were interestin an sumwut helpful.  i will take dem into considerashun nex time he vizitz (wich cood be nex weekend ... duhr.)

...

fer yer infermashun, itz not jus d-o-gz dat send me runnin into da closet!  anything cood send me there. i hav to say dat widowt much werk at all i am able to get my fur on almost any article uv clothing and mi mom iz alwayz very happy to find dat she haz brot a small reminder of me to da skool on her nice black slackz or dark colored skirtz.

i am alwayz happy to put a smile on her face.

i am jus sayin.