"And then she said ..."

mi mom came back frum da skool da udder day an told me da followin:

"(blank) said she doesn't understand your blog and then she said she doesn't have time to try to figure it out."

duhr.

if  she duzzen't understand it ... why iz she even bothering to go dere?

mi mom shoudda sed dat she izzen't interested in reedin abowt her d-o-g!

i am jus sayin.

...

in udder nooz,

mi grate frend cal'z mom sent me all mi catster stuff.

i wuz feelin nostaljik az i red thru mi diary an looked at mi pikshurz.

thank u laura!

an, becuz u commented on mi eerz ... an compared me to a owl ...

i took de pikshur  displayed at da  top espeshulee fer u.

it showz how i can do grate thingz wid mi eerz.

in dis shot i am makin one eer smaller dan da udder.

...

back to dat d-o-g person frum da skool.

i am linkin mi blog to MY facebook paje frum now on.

i am jus sayin.

da end.

back to normal

well wuddya know.

doze dum catz ar owt in da cold an mi dad iz back frum a trip to washington, DC.

life iz back to normal

we (matsui an joba an i) spent da hole day together in da house wile mi mom wuz at da skool.

i'm still alive ... 

so dat'z good nooz.

...
wile mi dad wuz workin an havin sum fun,
i wuz takin care uv mi mom an protectin her.
i am glad to say dat dere were no introoderz.
an dat'z good nooz.
da end.

sad cat

i wuz laffin an laffin wen i herd dis sad cat'z diary.

i think u will laff an laff, too.

click here for sad cat diary

...

speekin uv sad:

matsui an joba wanna stay outside in dis very cold wether.

stoopid AND sad!

i wuzzen't kiddin

i wuzzen't kiddin wen i sed i wuz nervus yesterday.

look ware i spent da day ...

dat'z rite.

i wuz hidin in da clozet.

duhr.

...

in udder nooz:

in 21 degreez, mi brudder matsui rezembulz a bowling ball.

don't u agree?

disturbin

i 'm nervus.

not only iz stoopid joba in da howse ...

mi scaredy cat cuzzin d-o-g iz comin today.

dat meenz i will be hidin owt behind clozed doorz all weekend.

mi scaredy cat cuzzin d-o-g duzzen't reelly bother me ... she iz more scared uv me, i  think.

it'z jus dat she'zza d-o-g.

but dat stoopid cat, joba ... 

i know yer sick uv heerin abowt dat.

...

nervus ...

it'z not a good thing to be.

i am jus sayin.

frum da annalz uv catster ... a mudder'z day poem

wen i wuz on catster ... i hadda lotta fun.

one uv mi bes frendz wuz skeezix hoo ran dis contest fer mudder'z day.

i wanna thank cal'z mom fer findin dis grate piece uv poetry dat i rote fer mi mom wen we were both a lot younger.

pee ess ... mi mom did not win.

i am jus sayin.

jeter harris hizself 

• 5 years ago

• −

a poem fer mi mom by jeter harris

mi mom iz grate an reelee swell
she lookz ok an hazza nice smell
she feedz me, luvz me, givz me voice
uv all da mudderz she'd be mi choice
took me in wen she swore "no more catz."
won't dress me up or make me ware hatz
gave me a good home ... anna perfect name
if u don't pick dis woman it wood be a shame ...
becuz mi mom'z da best cat mom ... dat iz true.
but ... winner or not, mom ... i will alwayz luv u.
da end.

pee ess ... i don't mind a raw mowse evree now an den.

 

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now an den

dis izza snow day fer mi mom.

dat meenz no skool fer her ... anna typist fer me.

az u may or mayen't know ... catster iz closin down an allotta catz ar runnin back dere to get dere pikshurz an diariez, etc.

i picked up a few uv mi old pikshurz ... an dis iz wut i came up wid.

dat top pikshur iz me today ...

da udder one iz me abowt 9 yeerz ago.

still hansum, yes?

...

speekin uv snow ...

we ar all in da howse.

dat meenz joba iz inside.

i'm sorry ... i jus don't like him.

he makez me growl.

da end.

wut do u get wen ...

u cross dis ...

wid dis?

u get dis ...

mi mom wuz reedin dis book ...

an fownd da pikshur uv "jezix."
i miss mi frend.

... 

mi furz

do u see it?

do u see ware mi furz go up a bit on mi back?

yup.  it'z a little disturbin.

i am jus sayin.

...

speekin uv disturbin, mi mom told me i smell.

duhr.

da old waterin hole ...

i fergot how grate it iz to drink frum da kitchen fawcet.

da water iz cool an comez in a nice streem.

it'z much more fun to drink dis way dan frum a bowl.

i am jus sayin.

...

speekin uv jus sayin,

mi mom'z frend in da skool sed da followin today:

"I was reading your cat's blog.  You're so funny"  Is there a program that spells like that?"

first: no madam ... dere iz no program... it'z mi spellin an it'z grate.

second: mi mom iz funny????

u think typin iz funny? , becuz dat'z wut she duz.

duhr.

ware iz da respect?

nap/tuck

wen i nap, i like to tuck mi legz.

all us catz enjoy dis posishun.

but yesterday i wuz really tucked in ...

... an mi mom sed i looked like a lofe uv bred.

(dis iz fer any reeder hoo iz notta cat or hoo 

duz not havva cat.  fer doze uv u hoo are catz or hoo hav catz ... dis iz nuthin speshul.) 

...

speekin uv speshul,

mi brudder matsui  slept on mi mom'z robe  las nite an dis mornin it smells kinda speshul.
I am jus sayin.

i knew it!

back to da skool ... an ...

duhr!
no selfiez ... no pikshurz ... no posts.

jus a lot uv me ... hangin owt on da kitchen table watin fer mi mom to get home.
jus a lot uv talk abowt da wether an da cold an worryin abowt doze two dummiez stayin owt wen dey should be in.
jus a lot uv laffin jus thinkin abowt max sugjestin dat dere izza "mrs. joba."
but i discovered sumthin i forgot abowt!
i discovered drinkin frum da fawcet!
it'z grate!
...
speekin uv grate,
it'z grate dat da temperacher iz warmer an dat stoopid joba can stay owtside widowt everyonne gettin crazy.
dat meenz i can come owtta da bedroom an eet wen i want an not smell hiz stoopid smell in da howse.
hmmm.  dere we go talkin abowt da wether again.
oh well.

c-o-l-d!!!!!

i meen ...

r-e-e-l-y   c-o-l-d!

joba iz in ... and pretty soon, matsui will get smart an come in da howse.

me?

i'm snuggly warm writin to you while relaxin on mi mom an dad'z bed.

...

i can heer da wind pickin up an i know dat da temperature iz gointa plummit ... wutever dat meenz.

brrrr.

...

in udder nooz:  mi mom went back to da skool.

it wuz quiet in da howse so i rested an waited fer her to come home.

tomorrow she hazza 2 hour delayed openin due to da cold... which meenz more time fer me.

i think i will ask fer a speshul breakfast.

da end.

all in

yup brudderz an sistahz

we are all in ...

da grate owtdoorz haz been so snowy an cold,

even matsui and dat joba hav spent da last few nitez in.

it'z sumwat disturbin fer me to hav dat joba in da howse, but i'm makin do.

(wutever dat meanz.)

...

 

duzzen't mi mom know she can get cootiez?

duhr.

...

in udder nooz,

mi mom iz goin back to da skool tomorrow after a long vakashun.

i wunder wut dat meenz fer mi blog.

jus thinkin owt loud.

semi stoopid

u may or mayen't remember dat joba came in da howse last nite to escape da storm.

many uv mi fb frendz decided dat dis wuz smart.

i hav to agree.

he stayed in da howse all nite ... an  woke mi mom up at 5:00 fer breakfast dis morning.

den ... he asked to go owt.

dis iz ware he getz stoopid.

he cooda just yoozed da facilitiez like matsui  did ... but NO ...

he went owt in da snow an diden't come back.

duhr.

he cooda had a nice relaxing and warm day in da grate indoorz.

actually ... it'z fine wid me.

i'm jus sayin.

...

speekin uv fine ...

mi mom locked  me in her room last nite an joba diden't bother me so everything wuz fine.

da end.

mi selfie

wen i herd dat mi favorite prince ... da grate prince william ...  took a selfie wid a bespectacled skool girl

i decided to find a bespectacled skool girl uv mi own ... an take a selfie.

dis iz da best i cood do.

...

speekin uv wut i do ...

i hafta say dat many fb frendz thot mi pikshur uv vomit on mi mom an dad'z bed  wuz a little strange.

wut can i say?

it'z wut i  do.

da end.

da very first thing i did in 2014

da very first thing i did in 2014 wuz

vomit on mi mom an dad'z bed.

i'm sorry ...

an wutta headache i hav today.

i am jus sayin.